Ho Ho Fucking Ho

It has been a while since I graced the galaxy with my sermon, I figured it was about time I got my finger out of Tina’s arse and spread my own unique Gospel again. Things have been slow as you can imagine with the Chinese twats and their bat fucking soup disease. Even being the son of God does not make me immune, I mean the cunt could easily wave his fucking flip flop in the air and make it be gone but the sad old twat obviously enjoys all that pain. Guess it makes Heaven actually look like a decent place when/if people finally get there. All those dickheads floating about with wings, harps and white jump suits?? I guess Covid even makes that look appealing.

The Big Man came today, it is such a fucking pain in the arse that my Birthday is always on Christmas Day. I bet that dodgy old twat of a father fixed it that way to save a few bastard credits. All the bullshit about sharing is caring and looking after your neighbours?? Fuck that all I am likely to get from them arse bandits is another dose of clap or fucking Omicron. Elsewhere my favourite punchbag Lickdonger are taking a welcome kicking, I am so fucking pleased to see them getting a taste of their own Shit Sandwich. Seeing them losing systems and stations one by one is so satisfying. Like peeling a scab and it comes away all in one piece, simply epic.

I know someone that is most definitely not on my Chrimbo list, yes you guessed it FUCKDEV. At every step they manage to screw themselves stupid and make it look so effortless. They break literally everything they touch, the Galaxy has a gash as wide as Akuma’s fucking ego, right through the middle of it. If you ask me the thundertards clearly have no idea if they can join it up again let alone allow the plebsole Cmdr’s take part. The Exodus of Cmrd’s was biblical in proportions and in all honesty, they don’t seem to give a shit. Even when the share prices fell faster than a Lawfuls shields they stuck their fucking heads deeper in the crevice between Braben’s hairy arse cheeks.

The ganks still flow and the salt mountains get ever higher. Albino is wreaking his usual havoc in the bubble, I took some time out to join him earlier this month. The bear cunts still cry and moan about those sploding pixels of theirs. Nothing changes there, I guess. Bino’s infatuation with queen rat is still going strong. Caught them behind the bike sheds at Jameson the other day, Bino looked like a pale withered husk as Bushy rode him like a fucking merry go round. White Stilletoes round binos ears like a pair of Bet Lynch’s fucking ear rings.

So, there is change afoot Cmdrs, my trip to the bubble was not simply one of Voyeurism. I have collected all my worldly goods and shipped them back to the nebula. The Hutton truckers have delivered 20000 tonnes of tritium to my carrier (stolen Tritium the dodgy bastards) for my own personal exodus. All these fucking lateral flow tests have taken their toll, my nostrils feel like the inside of Boris Johnsons Press department, fucking ragged. I am Beagle bound and it is a one-way trip. It is not the end but simply another beginning. In a few short weeks I will be moving the church to the end of the galaxy. Do stop by if you are in the area, the doors are always open. The beer is free and the hookers too.